They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
