This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
