I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
