why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Even my vagina gasped.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
