there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
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I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
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My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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