TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
