Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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