By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
