there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Boobs speak an international language.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
