She is in my trunk
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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