I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
