just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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