i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
