I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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