ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
