I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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