We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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