Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
