chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
