goodnight i made you a song goodbye
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
my liver is dry heaving
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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