you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
should my penis look like a turkey
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
