So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Randomize
