god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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