I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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