your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
