If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He? As in you personified your dick?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
