dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
