booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
