All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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