I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
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literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
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All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
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