My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
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