Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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