did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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