You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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