like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
