Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
