the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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