yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He had one of those small greek statue penises
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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