Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
