So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
