Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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