just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
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Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
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Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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