dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
