playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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