Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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