census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
either way he was missing a nipple.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
