I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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