I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
high people should be assigned attendants
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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