lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
