Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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