Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
