There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
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then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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