The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
