I'm gonna have a badass scar
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
my shit smells like andre
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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