I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
This can only be settled by a dance off.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
