Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
