I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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