Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize