bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Randomize
