why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
