So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Still dying that you shit outside
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
