Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
