This girl is more easily done than said...
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
