Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
