The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
