I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
