i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
