This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
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you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
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I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah