I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
