Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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